This blog has been quiet lately, but my nest has not been. My just-turned-23-year-young daughter (one of the twins) landed the kind of job we’ve been praying for since graduation last May. I rejoiced alongside her four weeks ago that God answered our prayers BIG, but was stunned that the job was 7-states and 16-hours away (by car). Sigh.
I write the beginning of this post from the airport concourse, waiting for my flight back to the nest.
The last month has been slammed at work, then crazy at home with planning, packing and preparing. Now, this huge, life-altering event is behind us. The wheels of my return flight squeaked as they tucked under, making me want to tuck my own feet under me and squeak a bit about what a huge hole there will be in my nest…
I had finally adjusted to the bustling activity and non-stop-in-and-out of the twins returning home from university last May. Although my youngest is still away at her school, the nest was no longer a silent space. We were literally back to “Mommmmm!” at the bathroom door the second I started the shower. Whenever I felt annoyed at something, I mumbled thanks that my nest was alive with life.
My saver-daughter independently purged years worth of clothes and shoes, and thinned three giant bins of cards and notes into one. She even found her saved baby teeth and notes to the tooth fairy (“please leave my teeth and thank you”). Piles to be packed and donations to be given away were strewn throughout the house and her room.
Her room.
The Jonas Brothers. One Direction. Taylor Swift. All decorations from her youth were recently replaced with fresh paint, a new travel theme – complete with photographs of her many adventures in travel. She had wisely turned down a job a Boston a couple months ago and arrived back home ready to nestle in…accepting that it could be a lonnnnnng wait for the “right” opportunity. God has such a sense of humor.
Her and I had just hung the last of enlarged photos from her trips and our summer vacation in Scotland and Ireland when the interviews began with her current job. The room we just completed was quickly deconstructed with all the décor in boxes for her first apartment.
While the mess strewn everywhere, she began wrapping fragiles in what we wrapped her in 23 years ago in the hospital. All of us parents have these exact same, thin, worn wraps somewhere in our homes and it was too much for me when I saw them.
This baby girl is my independent one. We have a favorite family video of her loudly announcing at 2 1/2 years old, “I can do ittttt!” She did not want help. Her independence is part of her. While this is how she can go to a place where she knows zero people, this quality has also (somewhat) eased my Mama-pain over her departure from the nest.
Funny how she’s my most independent one, but she’s also the only one who still sleeps with the same “dollies” at 23 that she did at 2yrs old.
These near stuffing-less treasures went with her far away.
Though Google and Zuckerberg and Apple’s leadership were decades ahead of us in copying and saving our so-called “personal” data – long before society bothered to contemplate if snaps and posts and emails were being saved in massive data centers – and I really go off on a tangent about all of it :), I still embrace certain technologies that keep my babies and I connected. I wonder how I lived without Snapchat to show my kids something at a store. I’ve always refused to use FB despite the disappointment of my friends, but I spend plenty of time on FaceTime with my kids.
Even more than when the twins were at their universities and we talked every day, “live” technologies have officially become a greater blessing during my daughter’s first full week on the job. Snaps of her new office help me picture her there. Snaps of her food make me laugh since she loves to eat! FaceTime on lunch breaks and after work help us still “do life” together as much as we can with 7 states between us.
Though my independent one, she was quick to confirm that it would only be 7 weeks until I arrive for Easter weekend….”you are coming for Easter, right Mom?”
Well…who can say no to that invitation!?
This is so very special!!
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Thank you!
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🙂 I hear you. I kind of lost it (on the inside) when a pink, plastic pony that I never liked but our daughters loved left the house in a Goodwill box.
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😭I can only imagine how sad that must have been!
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Reading your post was like reliving part of my life. Our oldest snagged a great job immediately after she graduated from college in a nearby city, but a couple years after that, she accepted a position several states and 12 hours drive time away. She’s also our independent one, moving down south where she didn’t know anyone. That was over 10 years ago, and now married, she still lives 7 hours away in another state. My empty nest mama’s heart knows what you’re experiencing and I feel for you. It’s the beginning of what I call ‘the exodus’ of all the chicks out of your nest. It’s bittersweet – we rejoice for them, yet it’s sad for us.
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Ugh, you’re so right…bittersweet for sure. How interesting that your oldest has such a similar story to my daughter. Thank you for sharing it with me. I’m hoping by the time mine marries, the geographical distance between us will shrink but only God knows…
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Congratulations on raising her to fly on her own and yet still hold an assurance you’ll be there.
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Thank you sincerely💕.
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Congratulations to your daughter on landing her dream job. It sure does leave you with a mix of emotions when they fly. Thankfully we can rest easier knowing that they are in God’s hands.
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You are very right. Knowing He is with them when I’m not is my peace!💗Thank you.
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What a lovely post! Your pride, love, and ache are all there.
Our second daughter is seven states away, too! I had to count them on my fingers. She’s closer than yours, though, because we can drive there in 12 hours. Older daughter Lise lives in Denmark. Our son is currently living with us. No distance there!
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Oh wow! Your son as close as can be and your Lise the opposite with your second daughter seven states away! I guess it’s true that sometimes even the “adult” kids like your son return to the nest!
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All three of our children have lived with us from time to time after they were independent. We enjoyed having them. I said it was fun to have a grown child to play with.
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You make me laugh out loud! I do agree that the kids-no matter the age-keep life fun.
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I thought the family anecdotes would fade, but the grandchildren have made them their own and added new ones. It’s so much fun when one of us quotes two or three words from a story, and everyone laughs.
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The fledging is always an anxious time for us mothers. I think she has found her wings! Congratulations to you for having prepared her to make her way successfully into the world!
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Awhhhh, thank you. It is indeed an anxious time but when it’s right for them, we have to let go😢!
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Quite a busy time for all of you. I’m glad God provided just the right job for her in His perfect timing and the wisdom to wait for it. Now you can stay busy catching up at work while you count down the days until your Easter trip.
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All true. The best is His timing even though it’s always difficult to understand it during the wait.🙏🏻
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Congratulations Mama Duck! 🙂 I can most certainly relate.
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Thank you… good to know there are other mamas out there who have experienced similar nest-changes!
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aw.. I remember when both of ours left the nest in the same week…
oh back up! That’s right, we left them LOL! that was over 20 years ago. My husband was moved by the air force (again) to a base 3 hours away by road. They are two years apart in age but our son, the youngest, received a much sort out apprenticeship and our daughter landed her first job. They both amazingly found accommodation close to their work places. Our daughter shared a unit with a female medical student in her final year and our son shared a unit with a young man working in technology.
I was a wreck for the first month. Of course, we were only a short drive away and they visited often as we did them. Both are married with their own children now. Our daughter has a son who just turned 15. Yikes!
It does get better. I promise. 🙂
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Thank you for sharing your experience with me☺️. Isn’t it amazing that now your “baby girl” has a 15-year old son?! What an incredible story in your family history of how everything worked out beautifully for them -and you and your husband- during that unsettling time!
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🙂
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You are so fortunate that she is in the same country. You are truly blessed.
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Very true! A different country would be difficult. I’m grateful🙏🏻.
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My heart is broken, with my family in England, and caring for my husband doesn’t allow me to see them.
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