When Your Kids Near Marrying Age

I don’t recall where I picked up the idea, but for several years I’ve been drying the petals of flowers my girls (or myself) have received so they can be used on their wedding day. It was a fun activity with a “someday” thought attached to it. Now, it’s a closer reality as my baby just turned 20. These are the years they will likely meet their future spouses (or perhaps know them already).

Like all the thoughts plaguing my mind in an increasingly quieting nest, the thought of them marrying is both exciting and nerve-wracking. I’ve always told my kids that you can easily change your wardrobe, food, house, location, job…but when you marry, it’s serious business. Follow God. Fall in love first, not lust. Be friends. Be sure. Really observe their parents, their friendships. Watch how your boyfriend/girlfriend handles a crisis, disappointment… how they treat others.We hope all of our investment in our children’s lives leads them to God’s best. One of my investments has been considerable prayer. I was praying about their “future spouses” long before they were dating. What I don’t know is who they will each choose. Free will is real and many pained parents have watched their beloved children suffer through horrible marriages. It’s not only the free will to choose poorly, but it’s the “big reveal” that sometimes happens to the poor souls who gave their heart to one person who turned out to be an entirely different human being once they married and lived together. Heartbreaking.

Marriage is unpredictable. The early years with young children can be tough. What we need at 25 isn’t always what we need at 45. It takes effort to evolve together. Marriage can be difficult.We want to save them from all the hardship. We want to talk and talk and talk in preparation to protect them from the miserable stuff. But, we know the reality. They will walk their own walk.

As my kids live out their early 20’s, I’m still doing a lot of talking 😉 even when they say, “I know, Mom. You’ve told us a thousand times.”  I’m still praying. Our society is increasingly hurtful and as they marry and create their own nests, I pray those nests are safe places…warm, accepting-of-faults places. The place where they can escape from the cold, judging, desensitized world and rest and play and laugh.

I pray they marry into unconditional love.

And, I pray they give it in return.


25 thoughts on “When Your Kids Near Marrying Age

  1. Wise words. Praying for your children and their future spouses is the very best thing we can do. All three of my offspring got married in the same year! I don’t know how I kept my sanity (only through God’s grace), but I did. They all married believers in Christ, but even that is not a guarantee. The spouse of one of our children became an entirely different person after a couple years of marriage and left her. It was devastating for our daughter and our whole family. So pray and keep praying is my advice.

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    • God bless you that all three married in the same year!?! Wow. I actually thought about your post, Thanks in All Circumstances, when I was finishing up this post. I didn’t realize he was a believer…that is extra painful. God bless your daughter with a more loving, joy-filled future than she could have ever imagined a few years ago. I will take your advice and “pray and keep praying”.

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  2. I really enjoy your blog. I have been where you are. It’s hard. It breaks your heart and makes you grieve and thrills you at the goodness of God for bringing a spouse to your child. My husband and I have been married for 43 years and married off four kids. Their spouses are wonderful and I pray that your future kids-in-law will be, too.

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    • A 43-year marriage is a wonderful example for your four children. How blessed you are that all of them are happily married! We’ve been married 26 years and our three kids are in college – so they are certainly approaching the marrying years! Thank you for the thoughtful comments.

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  3. My eldest (21) gets married this September. She has found her soul mate and we adore him. I too prayed for her spouse long before they met and God brought them together. We are blessed beyond measure here. Yours will be as well.

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    • Thank you♥️. I’m so happy for you! What a blessing for a Mama to be able to say you adore your future son-in-law and that God brought them together!! I wish your family all the best as you plan for the blessed day in September.

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  4. What a well-thought out and heartwarming post. I can feel your Love for your children through your words. And how awesome it is that you saved petals from flowers. I do things like that too, not really knowing why but still doing them. Your children are fortunate to have a Mom like you. Bless you! 🦋

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  5. Collecting and drying flower petals to use on their wedding days is such a lovely thing to do. I don’t have children, but I can see the predicament in wanting the best for them and for their relationships, but at the same time knowing they have to make their own decisions, and knowing that whatever they decide, whatever they do, things will always be unpredictable. I am sure, given how grounded and loving you obviously are, they will be smart and compassionate and will make the best decisions for themselves and will deal with whatever life throws at them. xx

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  6. Both my daughters are married and to wonderful, kind, loving men. They did not follow my example fortunately. It’s such a great feeling to know your children are loved and happy. I wish you the same. ❤️

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    • I’m so glad to read that your daughters are blessed with loving husbands. What a wonderful feeling for you to know they are happy and secure!💛Fortunately, the few people my kids have dated so far have been really good people.🙏🏻

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